Title: The adventures of Shirley and friends!
AUTHOR:Woody

"Mnnpu mmph."
He was putting Lancome SPF 25 Face and Body Lotion on her legs when the phone rang.
"Please behave while I�m gone."
"Mum pirur umn."

Inside the house he answered the phone. After brief greetings on both ends, he told his end of things.
"She�s all right, two of us had to help her up this morning but right now she is enjoying the sun. We glued her hands and arms together, and her thighs. And we gummed up her lips. We�ll give her a rub down later to get it off her."
He glanced that way, but knew she couldn�t go off anywhere. To the next question he answered, "Their off at the concert."

"The fewer clothes you take off, the more people want to strip you off."
That was a comment that Shirley had made during one of her 798 interviews in the past year. The crowd seemed to be in agreement, the number of tossers screaming, SHOW US YUR TITS was giving their what all to get her to lose her kit.

She wasn�t weighed down. Her Crimson ponytail was riding high in the air, the skinny leather dog collar studs were shiny with the sweat from her face. They mainly wanted her to shed the black leather T-shirt and blue combat trousers she wore. Her feet shuffled cross the stage in hand antiqued lace up short boots from Joan & David Boutiques

As she came to the edge she saw plenty of shveetniks in the crowd, some topless, some looking all lit up from: XTC, Ecstasy, poppers, snappers, ganja, Liquid X, meth, khat ,goob, crank and being fossilized, stinko, tanked, in the bag, looped and loaded from whisky, gin, vodlka and coffin varnish.

Sabine and Kristen walked through this mass of horny goateed shaven chest young men and baby T-shirt wearing bare midriffed young women. They were carrying guitar cases and appeared to be folk singing fitness models.
"I guess the rumor about the Porta Potties flood is true," said Kristen.

To the rear of the stage Garbage played there was a runway fenced off from the paying crowd. The performers were transported from their trailers to the stage in Black Humvees with tinted windows that no one would ever see his or her fave through. Near the fence was a row of thirty Porta Potties leaking raw sewage into a stream of running water that was in turn flowing into the tent area where thousands of concert goers had been living for three days. There were several small lakes or pools of the stink water, ten to twenty feet across.
"I�m going to puke," said Sabine as she took a straight hit of the sewage smell.
"Join the crowd," said Kristen. She watched a guy who looked to be in his early teens wearing a "Kill Rock Stars" tee shirt vomiting so hard that it was splashing back up to his kneecaps.

"I have no idea when their set ends," said Sabine.

That was just one of the bad things about this bagging job. Time was out the window. They couldn�t get that close to the stage, so were watching the show on a tear-shaped Jumbo Tron screen which was planted in the middle of a Peter Max mural which was painted on the so-called Peace wall. The wall was twelve feet high and 16,000 feet long and only one component of a comprehensive security that included 500 state police officers and a second perimeter fence topped by coils of razor wire.

None of that affects them. The cops and security are here to mess with the gatecrashers and the ODs and the sloppy dope dealers that can�t keep their shit together. They weren�t looking for kidnappers.
"Teena is in this mess."
"Safe and clean in the Humvee I hope."
"We got a lot of time to kill."
"WATCH OUT." A man with marble white skin and limbs in which every last muscle is visible has come though the crowd. They have given him a wide berth because it is obvious he is stark raving mad. He is naked and waving his arms above his head. He falls at Sabine�s feet. They scooted away from him.
"Christ on a crutch I hope she gets off stage soon."



Page 2

|March 13, 2000|

|Back to the main page|

� 2000| -Shirley Stories |Site HTML by ToAstA[COD]